Happy New Year

Happy New Year
And
Happy Fucking

Position of the Month

For the Month of December

Position of the Month

For the Month of November

Happy Halloween

Position of the Month

For the Month of October

Question 125

"My best freind is a woman Ive know since 5th grade and she was there for me when I came out when I was 17

She has a huge problem shes a dud in bed last year she had 4 new boytoys and eachone left her after may be a couple months 1 lasted for 4

We tell eachother evrything but I have no clue how to tell her she's no good in bed I think she might hate being told shes no good by a homo haha

What would you do?"

That's a tough one, I've given sexual advice to my friends and their is that tinge of awkwardness... don't think I've ever had to tell one they sucked in the sack (and not in a good way)...
How I would handle it would be to try and bring it up as simple "Shop Talk"... make it seem like yer just comparing notes on yer sex lives and then throw in the occasional "You should try this" every now and then...
At first, try not to come out and say that ya think she's unlucky in love because she's a dull lay... now, if ever she comes to you asking why you think they don't work out, then ask how her sex life is and give her some ideas she should "try out" next time...
Don't be surprised if she doesn't take any of yer tips and tricks advice... when some people get set in their ways, it's almost impossible to get them to try something different... if that's the case, then ya may just have to continue being there when she has trouble with men...

On a side note, don't suggest anything too crazy for her to try... keep it simple like reverse cowgirl if she's a basic missionary or on top type... if you happen to suggest oral as a possibility (if she doesn't do it) and she looks like she'd rather puke than think about it, then never tread there again... little things like that...
Just don't be too pushy or prying and keep being the friend ya have been and things will hopefully work out...
Also, make sure this isn't just what she wants... some people tend to sabotage their relationships out of fear of commitment and such... she won't just come out and say it; but, if you get that feeling, it may just be good to stay on the side lines and let her continue playing the field... just make sure she's being smart about it and using protection...

Hope things work out fer yer friend and Happy Fucking

Position of the Month

For the Month of September

Question 124

"how comes beeing the nice guy is a bad thing now? women always want an asshole and then bitch because they end up with an asshole. thay say i'm too nice. all my relationships end with women leaving me for assholes who treat them like garbage. why? are the nice guys destined to finish last? why do you think women date assholes? -- pissed nice guy"

Well, Pissed, yer asking a very familiar question that unfortunately has more possible answers than there are strippers named Candy... I've been in yer shoes, as have many men and women... it's like a bizarre attraction to the dicks/bitches of the dating world that just cannot be explained...

Well, it can be explained a little... Here are a few reasons I've heard over the years... some hold merit and others can sound really fucking stupid...

1: "He was sweet; but, he never let me have some alone time."
This has merit... one of the "downfalls" of nice guys is many become clingy and stifling to their partner... in any relationship, ya need some time to themselves now and then... when dating, know when to just have a day to yer'self or give yer partner their space...

2: "John treated me like an angel; but, Tom fucks me like a whore"... While not verbatim, I've heard something similar said right in front of me...
This is 90% Fucking Stupid with 10% Merit... It is really retarded to leave a good person for better sex; but, you do have to remember that sex is a part of a relationship... try to mix things up and keep things fresh and new...

3: "He was too nice to me and I don't deserve someone that nice."
....... This is REALLY Fucking Stupid with a side of needed therapy... when ya come into the realm of partners with major relationship issues, the best thing you can do is try to ride it out with them if yer serious; but, know when to get out when there just is no hope...
I believe in 3 months once the craziness starts; but, that's my opinion from personal experience being in a 3 year involuntary fist raping called a relationship... ANYWAY...

I can give ya plenty of examples and reasons why they ring true and sound retarded; but, the thing you need to focus on is not becoming a bitter fuck like many people do and hate everyone of the opposite sex because ya got burned by a bunch of dumbshits...
Life goes on... ya live, ya learn... Life's a garden, dig it... sorry, got on a motivational fortune cookie kick with a dash of Joe Dirt... ANYWAY...
Ya just keep doin what the rest of us keep doin; keep weedin through the cunts, dicks, assholes and bitches until ya find the one you can be happy with... sorry to make it sound very unromantic; but, that's the jist of it (better than the "plenty of fish in the ocean" line)...
All you can do is be yer'self, if they leave ya for that, then it wasn't really worth it. Being too clingy and a dull lay can be worked on; being someone yer not ain't worth it...

Good Luck and Happy Fucking

Question 123

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Position of the Month

For the month of August

Story: My First Time part 3

She lifted herself a little and reached between her legs, grabbing me by the cock. She didn't stick it in right away. She rubbed the head against her pussy and would tease me by letting just the tiniest bit into her opening and would then go back to rubbing her pussy. I couldn't imagine a worse torture.

Then she finally slid an inch of my cock into her pussy. It felt so good I was afraid of cumming right then and there; I wanted to slam everything I had into her. Before I knew it, I felt this incredible sensation on my cock. It felt like her pussy was sucking my cock. I looked down and saw the muscles in her stomach flexing and unflexing.

Every time her stomach flexed, she'd slide just a little bit more onto my cock. When I was half way in, she began to swivel her hips too. Everything felt so intense, I reached up to grab her tits and she suddenly grabbed my wrists and pinned my arms onto the bed; her face hover above mine.

I thought I did something wrong; but, she didn't stop. She kept going until every inch of me was in her pussy. There was a short pause for a moment, as Miss Cheng smiled at me, before lifting her ass up. For a moment, it felt like she was gonna get off me; but, then she slammed down on me hard, taking more of me in then before. She began to ride my cock hard and fast.

I'd never imagined fucking a pussy would ever have felt THAT good; but, it was the best thing I'd ever felt in my entire life.

The entire time she's fucking me, she never takes her eyes off mine. When she did this the first time in the bathroom, it felt weird; but, now her gaze made want to fuck her harder then she was drilling me. I lifted my legs, planted my feet and then began thrusting too. It felt like a collision of ecstasy with each bang.

Her heavy breathing soon began to turn to moans and my body took over. I began thrusting harder and faster than she was; so much so that she let go of my wrists and grabbed onto the edge of the bed while her cheek was pressing against mine. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as I pounded harder and harder.

Pretty soon, I was fucking her so hard she stopped thrusting back; her entire body was beginning to tighten, as her moans now began to turn to screaming.

“Don't stop”, she growled in my ear, “Don't fucking stop.”

She grabbed my hair and yanked my head back, as she lifted her face off mine. Her eyes were closed tight and her teeth were clenched; her screams still trying to escape from her mouth. I could feel myself about to cum, just by looking at the expression on her sweating face.

She began growling again; only louder, as she buried her head next to mine. Her pussy felt tighter, as my cock kept slamming in and out. It felt so amazing I began to cum; this time, I came harder then before. With my last thrust, I put everything I had into it, making her whimper in pleasure.

Her body crashed onto the bed next to me; both of us breathing so hard and fast. We laid there for what felt like forever, trying to recover our strength.

“I think it's time for you to go home now, young man”, she said, when she finally got up and off the bed, “You've been properly punished. Come back next week, as usual.”

With that, she walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I was confused; but, I wasn't gonna argue. My body felt like it'd just been through several marathons. I got dressed and headed home. The next day, I spent all day in bed; my muscles sore from all that fucking.

The week rolled by quickly and I made my usual walk up to Miss Cheng's; expecting another round of intense sex. To my surprise, she wasn't home nor were her annoying dogs. Even her furniture was gone. After a while of trying to figure out what the hell was going on, I looked for the key under the stone and found it was still there.

When I got inside, I ran to her bedroom, thinking maybe she'd be there; but, she wasn't. The only thing in the bedroom was a small box and a video tape. I opened the box and found a bunch of pictures inside of Miss Chen, along with a letter saying, “Enjoy the memories.”

That was thirty years ago. I have a lovely wife and two great kids; but, on lonely nights when everyone's away and I have the place to myself, I'll take a trip into the attic, hook up the old VCR to my mini TV and watch the tape Miss Cheng made of us in her bedroom without me knowing, while I look through her old photos.

This may sound petty to some; but, my first time was my best time... that's my punishment. It puts a smile on my face to this day, every time I think about it.

THE END

Hope ya'll liked that... sorry again for the slowness...

Happy Fucking

Story: My First Time part 2

Her hair was wet and sticking to her skin. She was wearing a thin yellow nightgown clinging to her wet body; I could see every bit of her as though she were wearing nothing. I swear I almost feinted when I saw her shaved pussy's pouting lips. My already erect penis felt like it became harder.

I was so shocked, I dropped the pictures and stared at her. I didn't know what to say, my mind was in overload. Before I even could form a word, she reached out and grabbed me by the waist of my pants and pulled me close to her. She then pushed my ass against the sink and pushed her wet body against mine, still holding onto my pants. She was pressing so hard against me, my back was touching the mirror. As scared as I was, I could feel her pussy against the bulge in my pants.

“I know what you've been doing while I've been away, little boy”, she whispered into my ear.

I was about to blurt out how when I felt her tongue against my earlobe. As my heart was about to burst from my chest. She took her hand from my waist and shoved it down my pants and grabbed a hold of my cock.

In all my time since, I have never let out a whimper of satisfaction like I did then. I could feel her soft hand grasping me through my briefs and my cock pulsing in her hand. She let go of it and brought her hand to her face, taking in a deep breath.

“I know this scent well, little boy”, she said, stroking her finger from her face down to her breast and grabbing tightly, “I also noticed my things weren't where I left them when I'd come home.”

I was gonna try to give an apology, but, with one hand she grabbed the bottom of my shirt and yanked it up to my shoulder, pinning me against the mirror again and with her other hand she grabbed the waist of my pants again and tugged them down so you could see my chest to the waistband of my underwear.

Before I knew it, she leaned down and placed her lips just above my underwear. My entire body tingled as she stuck out her tongue and licked the whole way up to my chest. In a few quick motions, she'd also unbuttoned my pants and unzipped them.

When she brought her face back to mine, she stared right into my eyes as she pushed herself against me again; this time, I could feel her nipples against my skin and her pussy was right on my erect cock, grinding against it.

“It took me a while to think of a proper punishment, little boy”, she said, before yanking my underwear to my thighs, “I think this will be more than adequate.”

When I felt her pussy against my exposed cock, I could feel myself about to cum. When she began to grind her pussy against my cock, I knew it wouldn't be long until I'd blow my load.

“Miss Cheng?”, was all I was able to get out before she cupped her free hand under my cock and pushed me harder against her pussy.

“Shut up little boy and cum all over my pussy”, she ordered, staring at me as she grinded harder.

Within seconds, I came all over her hand and pussy. There was so much heat and my blood was pumping so fast, I almost did faint. I probably would have if she she hadn't stopped grinding against me after I came; but, she kept going. My body was screaming in pleasure and I found myself moaning as well.

Soon after, her mouth began to make the wonderful sounds of a woman cumming. Her face was exquisite, as she never took her eyes off mine. As I felt her liquid pleasure wash over my still hard cock, she thrust her hips against mine so hard it almost hurt.

As soon as she was done cumming, she grabbed hold of my cock with a grip tighter than any I felt before and pulled me into her bedroom. I almost fell over because my pants were still around my ankles.

Once in the bedroom, she turned me around and shoved me onto her bed. I looked up at her in complete awe, as she took off her gown and threw it over my waist. She knelt before me and took hold of my cock through her gown and jerked me off while cleaning it off.

When she was done, she took her gown and stood up on the bed, towering over me like an Chinese Goddess. She rubbed herself with the gown, swaying her hips in such a way it was almost hypnotizing. When she was cleaned off, she spun around and let herself fall onto me.

It was like magic; in one move, she was sitting on top of my chest and her ankles were under my shoulders. Still surprised from her “magic act” my head whipped back and a long groan came from my lips when I felt her mouth wrap around the head of my cock.

She grabbed my thighs and held my legs open as she worked my cock over with her mouth. Every time I felt her lips slide down the shaft, I felt my hips automatically lift up. She took her mouth away long enough to say, “I want you to stick your fingers in my pussy, little boy”.

She didn't even wait for me to start before going back down on my cock. Following her orders, I took my two fingers and slid them into her pussy. I was afraid I wouldn't find it; but, it was like her tight pussy opened up just to show me the way.

When she moaned, I could feel the vibration through my cock. While fucking her with my fingers, I started off slowly; but, she began to thrust herself onto my fingers faster and faster until I was keeping pace fingering her pussy as she sucked my cock.

There was a moment where she began to slam my cock into her mouth with such force, I swear I felt the back of her throat. My arm was hurting from thrusting my fingers in and out of her pussy; but, I couldn't stop. The feel of her pussy squeezing my fingers with each thrust as her juices rand down my arm was enough to keep me going; I wanted her to cum as hard as I was about to.

As though reading my mind, she thrust me so deep into her mouth I could feel her lips touching my balls. The load that was about to erupt from my cock felt so enormous I actually tried to pull away. With such force, she threw my legs back and held onto them; I could have touched my knees if I wanted to.

When I started to cum, it felt like she was sucking every ounce of it out of my cock. I could feel her pussy tighten more around my fingers as the juices flowed more and she began to moan with my cock deep in her throat; she sounded almost like an animal.

She began to move her head up and down slowly while still sucking as hard as she could; like she was trying to get every last drop. When she finally let go, my legs dropped onto the bed with no strength left in them.

“Oh my God”, I managed to get out, my breathing was deep; almost gasping. My body felt drained, like I had been sucked dry by a vampire.

When I slid my fingers from her pussy, I felt her body shake a little; it made me feel like a real man, making a woman quake with just my fingers.

For a moment, I thought we were done, when she began to move her legs from under my arms; but, she then planted her knees on either side of my head. Her pussy was right there in front of my face; I could smell it's sweet fragrance.

“I hope you're hungry, little boy”, she said, before spreading her knees; lowering her pussy onto my mouth.

I hate to admit this; but, it was a sloppy mess. I had no idea what I was doing; using the techniques I'd heard in school. Making letters with my tongue, trying to spell out words; these would have been adequate for a beginner, had I bothered to even spread her pussy open, instead of slobbering over her lips.

To help guide me, her hand came between me and her pussy and she spread it open for me with just two fingers. This time, when my tongue touched her pussy, I could really taste her hot juices and my god did they taste amazing.

While eating pussy for the first time, now using my hand to spread her pussy lips, I could feel her rest her head on my belly; just above my cock. She was cradling my balls in her one hand while running her fingers up and down my thighs with the other. I could feel her tongue on my bellybutton, licking around it and in it. Before I knew it, my tongue was mimicking hers; like she was telling me what she wanted.

While eating her pussy, I could feel her breath on my stomach; panting harder and faster. Taking a chance, a brought my arm over her ass and slid my finger into her pussy while sucking on what I was hoping was her clit. I must have been right, because her body began to stiffen, as she started pushing her upper body up and pressing her pussy harder against my mouth.

When she came, the taste in my mouth was better than before. With both hands, I held her pussy open while licking up as much of her as I could. When I was done drinking her in, my cock was hard again.

She shuffled herself around me and rested her ass just above my cock; I could feel it pressed lightly between her ass cheeks. She was slowly rocking back and forth, pushing her ass against my cock, as she stroked her finger over my stomach.

“Are you ready, little boy?”, she said, looking into my eyes again, “Are you ready to become a man?”

I knew what was coming next and all I could do was nod my head.

Story: My First Time part 1

Sorry it's been slow people... guess not much goin on in the world of sex (that's actually a sad thought, lol)...

So, just for the sake of doing something to break up the "quiet", thought I'd put something up that should a nice read for some... I apologize now if this doesn't copy over well; been having problems with myspace...
I believe this is a work of fiction... if not, then DAMN... oh yeah, I wrote it... it is fiction... Damn...

........

I was 17 and living in a small town in Utah of all places. We moved there when I was 13 and needless to say I hated it from the start. Like most kids, I hated school and most of the teachers; didn't make many friends either. I was born LA, so that made me “Mr. Big City” to the mindless hicks that inhabited 90% of the town.

School Vacation sucked just as much as going. No movie theaters, no arcades, not even a fucking pizza shop. The whole town had only one supermarket and it sold these store brand items that made me wanna puke.

When I was 15, my Dad made me get a job babysitting for Miss Cheng up the road. I figured it'd be easy; but, what he didn't tell me was Miss Cheng's “baby's” were six Spaniels. Most annoying little things next to Chihuahuas.

I was gonna turn it down; but, she paid 10 bucks an hour and would be gone for almost six hours a day. I figured dog sitting couldn't be that bad for that much. They were house trained and could go outside and do their business on their own. Miss Cheng just didn't want her dogs to be alone.

When I first met Miss Cheng, I was expecting some wrinkled up old lady. I wasn't expecting to see the most beautiful woman in the world. I remember having to sit on her couch with my legs crossed while she was telling me about her dogs so she wouldn't see the huge boner trying to escape my pants.

For the two years I watched her dogs after school, I learned that she was in her thirties and was born in China; moving to America when she was 13. She never married and had been living in Utah for the past 10 years.

While she was away, I'd sit in her nice home, thinking about what kind of woman she was. There were some nights, just after she'd leave, I'd go into her bathroom and jerk off; especially since she'd always just showered before leaving, leaving her sweet perfumed sent lingering in the air.

Then, one day, I got brave and went into her bedroom. It looked pretty normal; except for one of those screens you see in movies that people change behind. I took a look behind it and was flushed when I saw her underwear on the floor.

This wasn't just any kind of underwear. A few were like the kind you find in Victoria's Secret and then there were some you'd find in a sex shop. There were crotchless panties, bras with holes for the nipples; for a boy of 14, this was mind blowing.

Also behind the screen was the door to a closet. Full of curiosity, I went ahead and opened it. Inside were costumes and large boxes. The costumes were like the ones you see in porns; skimpy nurse outfits, police uniforms, maid's uniform and there was even one that looked like a schoolgirl's uniform.

Inside the boxes were all kinda of sex toys. Dildos, vibrators, strap-ons. There were even some little whips and furry gloves. In the one box, I found the mother load; Pictures of Miss Cheng. In some, she was wearing her costumes, in others she was naked and posing. In many of them, she was with different men and even some women.

I couldn't believe it, the Asian Beauty I'd been working for was a prostitute. It would explain how she could afford her home and all her dogs. I wanted so bad to tell someone; but, at the same time, I wanted this to be my own secret.

From then on, after she'd leave for the day, I'd go back into her room and see if she had any new photos. I was never disappointed. Each day there were more pictures and I swear I masturbated to each one.

Then the day came when I was busted. It wasn't long after my 17th birthday. Miss Cheng called me up one day and asked me if I could watch her home while she had the dogs taken in for their checkups. She told me that they'd all be gone by the time I got there and the key would be under a stone on her lawn.

I didn't waste any time going over. As soon as I was inside, I went straight for the bedroom and into her pictures. After a while, I began to have particular favorites. I grabbed the ones I liked and headed for the bathroom.

I was so excited to jerk off that it didn't dawn on me that the bathroom door was closed when it had always been open when she was gone. As the door swung open, I smelled her sweet perfume; but this time, instead of just imagining she was there, she stood right in front of me.


To be continued...

For the 4th of July

Well, hope everyone has a great 4th of July... For a bit of a treat, I decided to go ahead and give ya'll some regular old fashioned porn...

Happy 4th and Happy Fucking...

Position of the Month

For the Month of July

Happy Father's Day

Enjoy The Thai

Get It?

Question 122

"we wer discussing ass play and wondering if you could explain or even show us how with guy getting it in the ass i'm not gay my girlfrend will be doing it to me"

First off, ya don't have to worry about the whole gay thing... assplay on men actually isn't as taboo as it used to be... this of course depends on who yer talking to...

Now, before even attempting to have yer girlfriend play around with yer ass, yer gonna wanna make sure yer pretty damn clean down there... also, no greasy foods before hand; don't want an accidental mess to clean up...

For more preparation, get some lube (water-based), maybe a plastic sheet (Just in case there is an accident) and some latex gloves... the gloves are in case you or yer girlfriend don't want her finger goin in yer ass bare; it's more for yer ass' safety than anything... last thing ya want is getting scratch in their by a finger nail...

Now, for the actual act itself, make sure you use plenty of lube and have her start with one finger (especially if yer a beginner)... her palm should be facing the same as yer stomach... ie, if yer lying on yer back, her palm should be facing up... this is for her to reach a particular spot that most men who are into assplay seem to enjoy... if yer in it just for the feel of penetration, then the hand's position isn't too important...

Going with the "male G-Spot", when yer girlfriend has inserted her finger, she'll press up and curl her finger slightly; like motioning someone to "come here"... this is very similar to finding a woman's G-Spot... remember, if ya don't like it or want her to add or lessen the pressure, let her know...

An added bonus to having yer ass played with is that yer girlfriend can use her other hand to jerk you off, she can give you head, etc... just have fun with it...

That should be good for now... if you want to move onto an extra finger or sex toys, the rules are pretty much the same if you were fucking her in the ass... just be gentle (rough's okay; but, not too rough... not every ass is like an anal pornstar's), take yer time and enjoy...

** Sorry this took me a while; but, I tried finding a suitable video... and I found one that says almost exactly what I said and (beside the little bad acting in the beginning) is very helpful for beginners...

Quickie: POV

"wuts POV pornograpghy?"

That's POV... it stands for Point of View... In porn, it gives the viewer the vantage point of being a participant in the porn (Usually from the guys point of view)...


Hope that was helpful... Happy Fucking

Position of the Month

For the Month of June

Question 121

"My bud has a huge problem he only dates fat chicks last year he dated a blondie over 180pounds I try talking him to date a skinny bitch now and ghen but he doesn't listen how can I make him see what he's doing is wrong?"

Is this a bait question?... are you trying to sound like a fucking moron so I'll bitch about you?... well sir, you fucking succeeded... How in the fuck are there still people like you around today?...
And 180lbs. is too big for you?... for you?... sir, I've checked yer profile... yer about as fat as me and you think 180lbs. is big?... There's an old saying that refers to a pot and kettle; maybe you should think about that...
As fer yer friend, good for him; he's dating who he wants to date, regardless of his having a dumbshit like you for a friend... I know it's shocking to a fucking retard like yer'self, but maybe, just maybe, he likes the women he dates... lemme guess, I just blew yer fucking peanut of a mind, didn't I?...
It's a hard pill to swallow, I know; but, it's been known to happen... yes, some people look beyond outward appearance and actually fall for the quality of someone's personality...
"She's too fat"
I hear shit like this alot and more often than not, it's said by someone who'd be lucky if they got a handjob from a leper... For the love of Fuck find something more important to worry about than yer friends dating habits...
Look, I'd love to bitch at you; but, I'm not in the mood to waste my time that could be better spent debating with a brick wall... just try and take this little bit of advice:

If yer friend is happy, then there's no fucking harm... let him date whoever the fuck he wants; ya sound more like a bitter ex than a friend...
If he's dating someone whose taking all his money, say something... If his girlfriend demeans him for amusement, say something... If she's a scientologist, kidnap him before it's too late...
Just don't be a dick cause he likes bigger women... skinny, fat, short, tall... this shit doesn't matter... were all just people... except scientologists; they're aliens...

*I apologize for seeming more of a dick when responding in blogs and the occasional message; I'm just not in the mood to deal with stupidity right now...
I also do not mean to belittle those who are big, thin, tall or short... I do mean to insult Scientologists; Fuck'em...

Video Attempt: Super Orgasm

I'm attempting the video thing to see how well it goes... This video should be sexy enough to score with those who just wanna see some naked people; but, it's also helpful... Volume might be low, so you may have to turn it up; just make sure yer not at work...



Happy Fucking

What The Fuck?

Normally, I'd keep my personally bitchings on my personal prof; but, since these are sex related, I figured, "Fuck it", it's been quiet enough...

First on my bitch list is this age of consent crap goin on in Pennsylvania... The age of consent here is 16... now, I could almost let that go, after all it's just my personal opinion that it should be 18 (not that any age limit would stop a hormone driven teenager)...
What has me pissed is there is this little extra bit that says a teenager as young as 13 can have sex with a partner under four years older... to add to my anger at this, some jackasses somewhere want the age of consent lowered to 15 and that extra bit lowered to 12...
What the Fuck?!?!... to top it off, 12% of Pennsylvanians are fucking for it... these are fucking adults wanting to remake this law saying that kids can fuck at the age of 12...
I can't get over the fact, the idea, that somewhere the thought that a 12 year old should be able to legally fuck someone close to their age actually popped into a grown man or woman's head and they decided to retweak an already messed up law...
Even more disturbing is the percentage of people willing to go along with it... how the fuck can anyone be on board for something like that?... and yes, I know it's not trying to say that dirty old men or cougars can go about stalking the school yards for some tail; but, still, decided that some kid can legally have sex as young as 12?...
Who the fuck brings this up at a meeting... "Hey guys, I been thinking... wouldn't it be nice to fuck teenagers when they're fifteen instead of sixteen?... hell, we can give the youngins' a shot as well"...
I dunno, maybe it's just me... call it a quirk finding the fact that these people are more concerned with how young someone can be to legally start fucking when they could be looking into more important things...
For starters, if yer gonna get involved with teenagers engaging in sex, how about better sexual education...

Which segways into my other bitching rant... with teenage pregnancies increasing alongside with teenagers getting STD's, one would assume this abstinence logic just ain't fucking working...
That's if a school even has sex ed... and no, not that, "This is where babies come from" bullshit in health class... no, I want programs that actually teach the true pitfalls of acting stupid when having sex...
I saw an old black and white film on tv once; like one of those old school reels like "blood on the highway" and "drugs kill"... it depicted a young girl having sex (hugging her boyfriend in a movie theatre) and her life turning to shit because of it... she didn't get pregnant or have an STD... no, she just felt bad... why?... cause she sullied herself before god... yeah, apparently that's the worst thing that could happen... sad thing, apparently this film was used in "sex ed" classes until 1998 in 15 states...
Look, teaching abstinence is fine; but, only in tandem with safe sex talks... yes, impart that it's the best way to avoid STD's and pregnancy; but, for fuck's sake, also teach them other ways minimize risk, should they decide not to remain abstinent...
I haven't looks at any charts or anything; but, I'm banking that the success rate for abstinence only is pretty shitty (though I'm sure if you ask someone whose apart of it or agrees with it, they'll say otherwsie... oh wait, they have)...
Come the fuck on already... IT DOES NOT WORK... when something doesn't work, you either fix it or drop it and find something that does; you don't ride it out for decades on end while things get shittier and shittier...
Just say no didn't work with drugs and it sure as fuck ain't gonna work with sex... yer better off teaching them how to play russian roulette...

I'm gonna end it there, before I go on for too much longer; best to keep it at two things than the endless list of bullshit everyone puts up with...
These are just my opinions... if you feel I'm wrong or ignorant, too bad, I don't give a fuck...

Quickie: Videos?

"could you post videos on your other blog to better explayn what your talking about?"


Sure yer not just trying to find a way to see free porn?... To be honest, I didn't really think about videos... First I have to see if I'm able to; I'm not very tech savvy and have to have most shit explained to me...
I'll definitely look into it... I won't be making any Vlogs myself; but, I can prolly find some tasteful clips to help show what I mean for certain things...
While I look into it, please, feel free to leave a comment or message about what you'd like to see; this goes for anyone...

Happy Fucking

Position of the Month

For the Month of May

Quickie: It's also called Pegging

"AFTER READING 119 CAN YOU SHOW ME A FEW PICTURES GUYS GETTING FUCKED BY WOMEN? AND IF IT WAS A CHICK WITH A DICK IS IT GAY THEN?"

Sure thing:

On another note, the act of a woman fucking a guy with a strap-on is called Pegging... I actually just learned that term after watching "Zack and Miri Make a Porno"... great flick by the way...
As for the second half of yer question, I think that depends on whether you consider a chick with a dick a woman or a pre-op transsexual... some say it's gay if it's a transsexual who used to be a man with a man and straight if it's with a woman... it's just something you'll have to decide fer yer'self; sorry I can't be more helpful in that area...

Transsexual with a man:

Transsexual with a woman:

You decide

Good Luck and Happy Fucking

Question 120

"I'm getting back with my ex after 6mnths and she's totally changed. She has her own chest of sex toys and wants to try these positions I never even herd of. I think she might have hook'd up with another guy while we were apart but I'm afraid to ask her. How do I ask her and what if she did?"

Simple, you say, "Babe, did you see anyone else while we were broken up?", and if she says yes, you go about the rest of yer day as you normally would; just with that extra little bit of knowledge...
Look, I know where yer head's goin with this and I have to tell ya to think rationally before acting like an idiot and doing or saying something completely retarded...

First off, it's been 6 months... this ain't the movies sir, this is real life; men and women don't take a couple years after a break-up to move on with their lives... in truth, ya have maybe a month (maybe two) before most people out of a relationship get back into dating... that's yer average person; some people start up again in a week or were already fucking someone before the break-up...

Secondly, you should be happy as fuck that she's into sex toys and wanting to try different positions; it means she more open to trying out new things... if you ever had a fantasy you wanted to play out or a position that you thought she'd never do when ya'll were first dating, now would be the time to ask her...

Thirdly, ask yer'self, does it really matter if she was with someone else while ya'll were apart?... whatever happened during that time, she's back with you now... with any luck, you'll last this time; but, not for long if you get hung up on what or who she might have done before getting back together...
Plus, let's say ya'll never got back together and yer now dating someone else... you wouldn't think there was a huge chance she was with someone before you?...

Now, I won't say to just ignore it and never bring it up; it'll end up eating at you that way... just remember that if she says she was with someone, than that's okay... we're only human and human's get lonely and seek comfort and comanionship when it presents itself (or when we're horny as fuck)... you, more than likely, would have done the same, had another woman appeared that made you feel good...

On a different point of view, whether she says yes or no, suggest that you both get tested... yes, that may start an argument; but, ya have to play it smart while also trying to be understanding...
And yer prolly asking, "Why should I get tested?"... Well, it'd be unfair to just ask her to do it... after all, how does she know you weren't banging other chicks during those six months...

Well, good luck to ya and Happy fucking

Question 119

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Question 118

"wut other JOBS are there behsides handjobs?"

I may have already answered something similar before; it feels semi-familiar... but, fuck it, you asked, so I'll try to answer...
Yes, there are plenty of other "jobs" besides the good ole fashioned hand job; technically, you can be jerked off by several different parts of a woman's body...
Let's go through the rundown:

The Hand Job:
The Classic; it's the simplest and easiest one their is. Yer girlfriend or wife grabs yer cock by the shaft and works her hand up and down (I know you already know this, as do many others; but, there are those who truly do not understand... I'll touch on that another time).

The Blow Job (Also known as Head or Sucking Cock):
Also an easy "job"; but, not well received by many women as a job they wanna do. This Job involves her placing yer cock in her mouth and working it like an icicle pop... best part is the Blow Job can work in tandem with the Hand Job... (For the Ladies: When giving a basic BJ, try to avoid teeth to cock contact; simply place yer tongue over yer bottom teeth and yer upper lip to cover yer top teeth)...

The rest of these Jobs will require you to use lube... and as I always say, go with water based lube... you can find them at sex shops and usually alongside condoms in pharmacies and some convenient stores...

The Tit Job (known as Titty Fucking):
This job can't be performed by every woman; while huge tits ain't a must, they do help. Yer girlfriend rests yer cock between her tits and pushes them together; allowing her to jerk you off with them or for you to fuck them; depending on the size of yer cock, she may even be able to suck the tip of yer cock... Some women prefer to lie on their back, to do it on their knees while you stand or to do it with you sitting; try several different ways to find which one she likes best...

The Foot Job (Also known as Foot Fucking):
This Job is pretty simple; but, a hard sell for women who've never gotten into foot play of find feet disgusting. Yer girlfriend places her feet together and makes a pseudo-pussy out of the arches of her feet... If she has long legs, she can do this while sitting behind you. There are a few positions for this; but, never have her stand on you (that's an accident waiting to happen)...

The Ass Job (Not to be confused with Anal Sex or Ass Fucking):
This Job might be hard to sell yer girlfriend on. Like Titty Fucking, yer cock rests between her ass cheeks and either you or her squeeze them tight around yer cock; allowing you or her or even both to do the work rubbin yer cock between them... This Job can be with her standing and bent over, with her in the doggy position or, if she's a bit nimble, can be done with her lying on top of you... again, see what positions suit her best... Plus, on a hygienic note, make sure she's clean back there...

The Pussy Job (Not to be confused with regular intercourse):
This particular Job might be easier to sell yer girlfriend on, because she'll be getting a good bit of pleasure out of it as well. By now, you should be getting how this works; your cock is placed between two parts of her body and then held firm by you or her... in this case, yer resting yer cock between her labia majora (the skin that surrounds the pussy). I've used the terminology before; but, think hot dog in a bun... again, this can be done in several positions; find the ones she likes...

The rest are a bit avant-garde for those who never even would have thought of it; so, don't just suggest these on a whim, unless you and yer girlfriend are into trying new things...

The Armpit Job (also known as Pit Fucking):
Yep, you guessed it; you place yer cock under her arm and then she gives it a head lock (pun intended). This is best done from behind yer girlfriend and can allow her to give you a Hand Job along with it; depedning on how long yer cock is... Be sure to try this when her armpit has no harsh stubble; all the lube in the world won't help you avoid that friction nightmare...

The Arm Job (also known as Arm Fucking): *Couldn't find a Arm Job Pic... so how bout a stripper?
This is probably best done with you laying down (but, can be done several ways). Yer girlfriend takes yer cock in the crook of her elbow (where the arm bends) and brings her hand to her shoulder or chest; giving you a cock lock... if she lays on her side on top of you and places her hand behind her head, she can also give you a Hand Job... She can also flex her bicep a bit to put on a little extra pressure...

The Knee Job (Also known as a Leg Job): *Couldn't find a Knee Job Pic... so a sexy chick in a bikini should do
This one is the same as Arm Fucking, only yer cock is placed in the crook of her knee. The best position might be with her laying on her side next to you and proping her leg over yer cock; again, this will give her room and motion to work in a Hand Job as well...

Well, those are the ones that I know of... I hope that was helpful enough for ya...

Good Luck and Happy Fucking

Question 117

"Ive been to evry dating sight there is and I never find anyone is there a place garanteed to have someone for me?"

Sounds like you have the same problem the vast majority of the world has; shitty dating sites... truth be told, yer chances of finding someone online are 1,000 to 1; and that's being kind...
Good news is that it's nothing about you personally that gives you these shitty odds... it's just how dating sites work... almost every dating site relies to heavily on an individual being honest when, let's face it, none of us are ever totally honest...

You're better off trying to get out more and mingle with the outside world... go to places you like to hang out and try to get to know the people around you there; that way, if you should happen to meet someone you like, it ups the chances that they have at least one thing in common with you...
I can imagine you've heard the usual chatter:
Go to bars, libraries, churches, etc... unless these are places you actually frequent a good bit, don't even bother...
Sorry for being an assuming prick; but, I'll take a guess that yer probably a bit socially inadequate... otherwise you wouldn't have gone through so many dating sites... Trust me, I can relate...
We all can't be like those who like crowds and the hustle and bustle of the average gathering places (like bars, clubs and the like); but, we don't have to live socially dead lives...
As I said earlier, hang out more in places you like and try to keep an eye out for people who you see there alot; that's not to say to go about making a list on the people who hang where you do... go about what you normally do and if you should happen to realize that you've seen the same person a couple times try striking up a conversation with them... you'll already have something to talk about by bringing up a semi-cheesy line like: "I've seen you here a couple times, so I thought I'd say hello"...

Of course there are things to be mindful of... don't be pushy or anything... when you introduce yer'self to someone and they seem put off or uninterested, just leave it with a goodbye and move on...
Ask them question; but, don't make it like an interrogation... ask simple questions (Like: "What do like about this place?", "How often do you come?")... and, the golden rule, don't bring up sex, religion or politics when first meeting someone...
Be polite... if yer in a place that serves coffee, offer to buy a cup... don't offer to buy anything really expensive; you'll come off as trying too hard or desperate... plus, it's not smart to blow a good bit of cash on someone you don't really know just yet...
Try to be honest... I say try because we all tend to omit certain things about ourselves or just flatout lie... this is actually common in first meetings; but, while a little fudging of the truth ain't a problem (agreeing something's funny when you don't think it is, that kinda thing), bold-face lying will just get you into trouble later on if you become friends...
Lastly, expect rejection... if you can't deal with this aspect of meeting people, then yer better off with net sites...

Lastly, a word on appearance... now, I'm all for being true to yer'self and not giving a fuck what others think; but, if yer gonna try to meet people (whether through the net or on yer own), you should try to clean up a bit...
And no, I don't mean go all out or anything... just make sure you got clean comfy clothes, yer hair's not a complete nightmare of knots or horrific bed head, yer breath ain't enough to kill a skunk, yer teeth ain't the same color as cheetos and yer body ain't kickin of some horrible fumes... that's it at it's most basic...
These are the common mood killers with "normal" people... when I say normal, I mean people who ain't stuck up fucks about retarded shit like height, weight, money, etc... trust me, you don't want to meet fucks like that anyway...

Okay, this is the very last thing (and I mean it this time)... make sure yer having fun and enjoying yer'self... if you manage to strike up a conversation; but, yer not having a good time, you don't have to stick with it... just politely excuse yer'self...
The key thing is yer comfort... if you ain't comfy with any of it, than stick to what's good with you... but, I'll say this: It doesn't hurt to take a chance every now and then... Nothing ventured, nothing gained, after all...

Hope shit works out for ya... Good luck...

Great Advice

This was sent to me by someone whose sent in some very good questions since I began answering sex questions and giving advice... She tells us of an ordeal she's just gone through and then gives some very helpful advice...


Since this site is about sexuality and sexual experiences, I'd like to
take this opportunity to discuss something that is often not discussed,
sexual health. You may have read some of the things I've written here
before. I've sent in a few vibrator reviews in the past.
However, today I'd like to discuss the experience I've been having and things I've learned about having issues with reproductive health. This information
is about women's health but much of it can be applied to male
reproductive health as well.

Several months ago, I started noticing occasional pain when having sex with my partner. I blew it off as rough sex and didn't want to upset him so I didn't say anything. As time went on this pain became more and more frequent. I just shrugged off having sex at times to avoid the pain.
I eventually decided to mention it and the weird itchy feeling I was having when I went to the doctor for a stomach complaint. Sure enough they preformed a pelvic exam and what the doctor suggested I had totally floored me. My doctor
told me I had an STD and that now I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
(PID).
I was sitting there stunned. I couldn't see how this was possible. I had only had sex with two guys, my ex-fiance whom I had no reason to believe cheated on me in our relationship, and my current boyfriend of 2 years whom had no sexual history prior to our being together. Of course, I didn't believe he had cheated either. If he was more of an outgoing person I would have questioned him but it just didn't seem like him.
The doctors failed to tell me that there was other causes of PID and also failed to test me for anything but STDs. They sent me home with a shot in the ass and tons of pills and told me I had to bring my boyfriend in so he could be counseled on "getting tested."
Of course this was nearly the end of our relationship. My boyfriend was sitting there going "I know where I've been and if you have an STD you better tell me how you got it." Of course I couldn't because I hadn't been with anyone else either. Of course when the results came back a week later, to show I didn't have the 2 STDs they had tested for they still assumed I had the third that they did not
test for and continued to proceed as if I had an STD.
I completed their treatement, my boyfriend treated me like a cheater (To the point where I thought I was going to be kicked out of my house), and in 2 weeks the pain still didn't go away. I went back to the doctors who ordered a test, A CT scan, which only now I realize was only based on the idea that I had an STD. After the scan they told me everything was normal sent me home and told me to follow up in a week.

By this point, I had almost lost my relationship, I was still sick and realizing that these doctors had no idea what they were talking about. I realized that there was something wrong with their diagnosis, since I had none of the symptoms of the supposed STD I had, and when I had confronted them about it, they blew it off.
I realized I needed a second opinion. I made an appointment with a specialist yesterday. This is where I realized my first error, I had gone to a PCP for a women's health issue. Just because your family doctor is in a general practice it doesn't mean they know everything about specific issues. If it costs more on your health plan or out of pocket to see a specialist, it is worth your time and money believe me. I have spent over 100 bucks in copays at my PCP, and used all of my sick days from work to still get no answers.
When I was at the specialist yesterday I learned the CT scan was the wrong test to be preformed. I had needed an ultrasound. I also learned they had put me on all the wrong medication and I needed a different shot in the ass. The specialist also told me I probably have Endometriosis, which is a painful condition where the lining of the uterus (which is usually shed during a woman's period) was probably growing outside my uterus and causing the pain. There is no quick fix and surgery is the only way to definitively find out if you have it, and correct it.
I will be finding out more at my follow up next week, but let me give you a quick run down of the things I've learned in a month in the hopes it can help you in the future.

1. If something seems wrong get checked immediately!! As a survivor of
childhood sexual abuse, I tend to wait because an annual exam is like the most traumatic thing ever. Regardless, I could have saved myself a lot of time and pain had I gotten into the doctor sooner.

2. Go to a specialist! Don't assume a family doctor has the knowledge to
address issues with the reproductive system. If you do you'll be treated more like a lab rat while they take guesses when a specialist can usually nail it when you first come in.

3. If the doctors don't listen to you or stereotype you, get a second opinion QUICK! My PCP looked at me, a 20 something female, who was single and didn't use condoms during sex and said "Oh must be an STD" without asking my
sexual history or about my boyfriend. Granted, if you have a variety of sexual partners, or have unsafe sex on a regular basis, don't blow off an STD diagnosis. However if the equation doesn't add up, move on. You aren't hurting anyone but yourself by not moving on.

4. When you change sexual partners have an STD test done. If I had done that
after being with my ex-fiance, I would have had a clean bill of health to back me up. Instead I had that "what if" factor when the doctors said STD and it stalled the process of getting to the bottom of things.

5. Ask about your family history BEFORE you have health problems. Now that
I am in and out of the doctors office all of the time, I am learning about stuff my mom and sister have had that could have been relevant to tell the doctor when I was in the office, but I hear about it after I leave the office when I tell them what the doctor said. Consider asking about family health problems before you go in for an annual exam or physical. (This pertains to general health information as well as reproductive health.)

OK well those are some of my thoughts on the subject and I hope this terrible experience of mine can help someone else down the road. Thanks!


Thank you very much for this... This is great advice for people to know; especially if they're in a similar situation with getting checked up for STD's...
I have a friend who has Endometriosis; so I know it can be difficult to live with... on a good note, she just had a baby; so, there is hope if kids ever would be an option for you...
Still, I hope everything checks out fine and it's something more easily treatable...

Again, thanks for this extremely helpful advice and for sharing yer experience going through this...

*I apologize that the spacing is a bit odd... if it's too hard to see or understand for anyone, lemme know...