Great Advice

This was sent to me by someone whose sent in some very good questions since I began answering sex questions and giving advice... She tells us of an ordeal she's just gone through and then gives some very helpful advice...


Since this site is about sexuality and sexual experiences, I'd like to
take this opportunity to discuss something that is often not discussed,
sexual health. You may have read some of the things I've written here
before. I've sent in a few vibrator reviews in the past.
However, today I'd like to discuss the experience I've been having and things I've learned about having issues with reproductive health. This information
is about women's health but much of it can be applied to male
reproductive health as well.

Several months ago, I started noticing occasional pain when having sex with my partner. I blew it off as rough sex and didn't want to upset him so I didn't say anything. As time went on this pain became more and more frequent. I just shrugged off having sex at times to avoid the pain.
I eventually decided to mention it and the weird itchy feeling I was having when I went to the doctor for a stomach complaint. Sure enough they preformed a pelvic exam and what the doctor suggested I had totally floored me. My doctor
told me I had an STD and that now I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
(PID).
I was sitting there stunned. I couldn't see how this was possible. I had only had sex with two guys, my ex-fiance whom I had no reason to believe cheated on me in our relationship, and my current boyfriend of 2 years whom had no sexual history prior to our being together. Of course, I didn't believe he had cheated either. If he was more of an outgoing person I would have questioned him but it just didn't seem like him.
The doctors failed to tell me that there was other causes of PID and also failed to test me for anything but STDs. They sent me home with a shot in the ass and tons of pills and told me I had to bring my boyfriend in so he could be counseled on "getting tested."
Of course this was nearly the end of our relationship. My boyfriend was sitting there going "I know where I've been and if you have an STD you better tell me how you got it." Of course I couldn't because I hadn't been with anyone else either. Of course when the results came back a week later, to show I didn't have the 2 STDs they had tested for they still assumed I had the third that they did not
test for and continued to proceed as if I had an STD.
I completed their treatement, my boyfriend treated me like a cheater (To the point where I thought I was going to be kicked out of my house), and in 2 weeks the pain still didn't go away. I went back to the doctors who ordered a test, A CT scan, which only now I realize was only based on the idea that I had an STD. After the scan they told me everything was normal sent me home and told me to follow up in a week.

By this point, I had almost lost my relationship, I was still sick and realizing that these doctors had no idea what they were talking about. I realized that there was something wrong with their diagnosis, since I had none of the symptoms of the supposed STD I had, and when I had confronted them about it, they blew it off.
I realized I needed a second opinion. I made an appointment with a specialist yesterday. This is where I realized my first error, I had gone to a PCP for a women's health issue. Just because your family doctor is in a general practice it doesn't mean they know everything about specific issues. If it costs more on your health plan or out of pocket to see a specialist, it is worth your time and money believe me. I have spent over 100 bucks in copays at my PCP, and used all of my sick days from work to still get no answers.
When I was at the specialist yesterday I learned the CT scan was the wrong test to be preformed. I had needed an ultrasound. I also learned they had put me on all the wrong medication and I needed a different shot in the ass. The specialist also told me I probably have Endometriosis, which is a painful condition where the lining of the uterus (which is usually shed during a woman's period) was probably growing outside my uterus and causing the pain. There is no quick fix and surgery is the only way to definitively find out if you have it, and correct it.
I will be finding out more at my follow up next week, but let me give you a quick run down of the things I've learned in a month in the hopes it can help you in the future.

1. If something seems wrong get checked immediately!! As a survivor of
childhood sexual abuse, I tend to wait because an annual exam is like the most traumatic thing ever. Regardless, I could have saved myself a lot of time and pain had I gotten into the doctor sooner.

2. Go to a specialist! Don't assume a family doctor has the knowledge to
address issues with the reproductive system. If you do you'll be treated more like a lab rat while they take guesses when a specialist can usually nail it when you first come in.

3. If the doctors don't listen to you or stereotype you, get a second opinion QUICK! My PCP looked at me, a 20 something female, who was single and didn't use condoms during sex and said "Oh must be an STD" without asking my
sexual history or about my boyfriend. Granted, if you have a variety of sexual partners, or have unsafe sex on a regular basis, don't blow off an STD diagnosis. However if the equation doesn't add up, move on. You aren't hurting anyone but yourself by not moving on.

4. When you change sexual partners have an STD test done. If I had done that
after being with my ex-fiance, I would have had a clean bill of health to back me up. Instead I had that "what if" factor when the doctors said STD and it stalled the process of getting to the bottom of things.

5. Ask about your family history BEFORE you have health problems. Now that
I am in and out of the doctors office all of the time, I am learning about stuff my mom and sister have had that could have been relevant to tell the doctor when I was in the office, but I hear about it after I leave the office when I tell them what the doctor said. Consider asking about family health problems before you go in for an annual exam or physical. (This pertains to general health information as well as reproductive health.)

OK well those are some of my thoughts on the subject and I hope this terrible experience of mine can help someone else down the road. Thanks!


Thank you very much for this... This is great advice for people to know; especially if they're in a similar situation with getting checked up for STD's...
I have a friend who has Endometriosis; so I know it can be difficult to live with... on a good note, she just had a baby; so, there is hope if kids ever would be an option for you...
Still, I hope everything checks out fine and it's something more easily treatable...

Again, thanks for this extremely helpful advice and for sharing yer experience going through this...

*I apologize that the spacing is a bit odd... if it's too hard to see or understand for anyone, lemme know...