Sunday, April 12, 2009

Question 117

"Ive been to evry dating sight there is and I never find anyone is there a place garanteed to have someone for me?"

Sounds like you have the same problem the vast majority of the world has; shitty dating sites... truth be told, yer chances of finding someone online are 1,000 to 1; and that's being kind...
Good news is that it's nothing about you personally that gives you these shitty odds... it's just how dating sites work... almost every dating s
ite relies to heavily on an individual being honest when, let's face it, none of us are ever totally honest...


You're better off trying to get out more and mingle with the outside world... go to places you like to hang out and try to get to know the people around you there; that way, if you should happen to meet someone you like, it ups the chances that they have at least one thing in common with you...
I can imagine you've heard the usual chatter:
Go to bars, libraries, churches, etc... unless these are places you actually frequent a good bit, don't even bother...
Sorry for being an assuming prick; but, I'll take a guess that yer probably a bit socially inadequate... otherwise you wouldn't have gone through so many dating sites... Trust me, I can relate...
We all can't be like those who like crowds and the hustle and bustle of the average gathering places (like bars, clubs and the like); but, we don't have to live socially dead lives...
As I said earlier, hang out more in places you like and try to keep an eye out for people who you see there alot; that's not to say to go about making a list on the people who hang where you do... go about what you normally do and if you should happen to realize that you've seen the same person a couple times try striking up a conversation with them... you'll already have something to talk about by bringing up a semi-cheesy line like: "I've seen you here a couple times, so I thought I'd say hello"...

Of course there are things to be mindful of... don't be pushy or anything... when you introduce yer'self to someone and they seem put off or uninterested, just leave it with a goodbye and move on...
Ask them question; but, don't make it like an interrogation... ask simple questions (Like: "What do like about this place?", "How often do you come?")... and, the golden rule, don't bring up sex, religion or politics when first meeting someone...
Be polite... if yer in a place that serves coffee, offer to buy a cup... don't offer to buy anything really expensive; you'll come off as trying too hard or desperate... plus, it's not smart to blow a good bit of cash on someone you don't really know just yet...
Try to be honest... I say try because we all tend to omit certain things about ourselves or just flatout lie... this is actually common in first meetings; but, while a little fudging of the truth ain't a problem (agreeing something's funny when you don't think it is, that kinda thing), bold-face lying will just get you into trouble later on if you become friends...
Lastly, expect rejection... if you can't deal with this aspect of meeting people, then yer better off with net sites...

Lastly, a word on appearance... now, I'm all for being true to yer'self and not giving a fuck what others think; but, if yer gonna try to meet people (whether through the net or on yer own), you should try to clean up a bit...
And no, I don't mean go all out or anything... just make sure you got clean comfy clothes, yer hair's not a complete nightmare of knots or horrific bed head, yer breath ain't enough to kill a skunk, yer teeth ain't the same color as cheetos and yer body ain't kickin of some horrible fumes... that's it at it's most basic...
These are the common mood killers with "normal" people... when I say normal, I mean people who ain't stuck up fucks about retarded shit like height, weight, money, etc... trust me, you don't want to meet fucks like that anyway...

Okay, this is the very last thing (and I mean it this time)... make sure yer having fun and enjoying yer'self... if you manage to strike up a conversation; but, yer not having a good time, you don't have to stick with it... just politely excuse yer'self...
The key thing is yer comfort... if you ain't comfy with any of it, than stick to what's good with you... but, I'll say this: It doesn't hurt to take a chance every now and then... Nothing ventured, nothing gained, after all...

Hope shit works out for ya... Good luck...

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